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ThePoot.com the life and times of a spotted whale
poot's bottom The life and times of a spotted whale
Dec. 2002

What's to say about this month. Mom took off for places north and west. I got dumped on LI. Had to spend Christmas AND New Year's there. Boo hiss. Okay. well on a positive note, Brian brought me some Christmas gifts; the cream of the crop is a noisy rooster. Also, it snowed early in the month, and that was fun. I love the snow; it's the damn salt I could live without - ouch!

Nov. 2002

Came and went. Had turkey on LI with the family. Mom worked late like EVERY DAY, and I picked up the nasty habit of ripping into the recyclables on a daily basis. It's cost effective: cheaper than a toy and twice the mess! Favorite snag? The carton from the organic chicken broth. Yum-e!

Oct. 2002

Squeaked by another Halloween without having to dress up as CleoPOOTra. Mom was too busy working on her Power Puff Girl costume to buy me a wig and some kohl for my eyes.

Sept. 5, 2002

You have got to be shitting me. Mom's in Ohio and who shows up to take care of me? Brian! I must have died and gone to heaven. He hangs out around the house and plays with my toys with me, lets me snuggle up next to him in bed, gives me lotsa extra treats. I hope this is a prolonged trip for mom.

Aug. 31, 2002

Gidget's got a new mom; we helped her move in this weekend. Geez, I hope I am still welcome over there.

Aug. 28, 2002

Yay, yay, yay! We went to Maine! Stayed with Dave. I got to hike and, errr, hike some more. I am easy to please. Check out me and Gidge helping mom out of a pickle. What ever would she do without us?

Aug. 16, 2002

Phew! She's back. Looks a little older but no worse for being without me for so long. I kissed her a bunch anyway. No self-respect. Tomorrow we're going to pick up Brian, who felt the need to go to Texas. Mom says everything is bigger in Texas. Hope he doesn't come home with one of those Great Danes in tow.

Aug. 13, 2002

She's home and STILL no sign of her. Today is her birthday. I am sure that she is out celebrating without a thought in my general direction. I had a sloppy, dog-breath kiss waiting for her too. Think I'll just hold off on passing that along for now. Maybe she's never coming back. Could it be true? Will I be forced to live the life of a suburban dog forever more? What will the other dogs in the park think became of me? That I ran off to the Bronx to live the life of a stray? Was hit by a city bus? Kidnapped and forced to live in a studio apartment in Queens? What?!

Aug. 8, 2002

Still here on the Island sharing a slop bowl with Calle. Apparently mom's off to Kentucky now, helping Cliff move. I'd like to lodge a formal complaint at this point, but I am not sure who the proper authority is in a case like this. Thinking about taking a crap on the living room floor instead.

Aug. 5, 2002

Ah, weekend's up and no sign of mom. She called and said something about a going away party for Cliff and not being able to make it out to fetch me (get it - my mom fetches me!) just yet. Grrr. I guess I don't mind an extra day or two if it's for my pal Cliff.

Aug. 1, 2002

Not sure what the idea is, but I have been relegated to LI because mom is going beach camping. I like the beach. I wouldn't even mind a few ticks if it meant I could go. What's a little (okay, A LOT) of extra sand in the tent when you can hang out with the likes of me on your beach blanket?

July 18, 2002

Mom's off to South Carolina for a pig roast. Now why exactly can I not go to the pig roast? Nobody likes roast pig more than me! Anyway, I am off to stay with Joe. First we are going to a movie set in Yonkers. I am to hang around while he works. In 100-degree weather. Oh to be home in the comfort of my air conditioned apartment. Or at least to be in the vicinity of a pig roast. Waaaaaaa.

July 15, 2002

Brian turned up with some new toys. A strange red bone and a smashing rubber cat head. Plus, when mom's not looking, he sneaks me extra treats from the jar in the kitchen. I think I'm in love.

July 13, 2002

What the... the world has turned upside down. Mom's off to a Mets game today. A Mets game!? A perfectly good Saturday afternoon ruined. The Amazin' - losin' - Mets. I bet that Brian is behind this somehow.

July 8, 2002

Spent Fourth of July (go USA!) on the Island, chillin' with the Gidge and the Hamiltons. Went to a LI dog run. Mostly I wanted to sack out. Wouldn't even chase my tasty ball. Hot. Oh so hot. Got Brian all moved into his new apartment. His new apartment on the West Side. The very same West Side on which we reside. Guess that means we'll be seeing a lot more of him (as if that's humanly possible).

June 23, 2002

As promised, got to go on the annual canoe trip (what the hell! Gidget got to go too!). It wasn't exactly as much fun as I envisioned. First off, it rained quite a bit. We were supposed to tent it, but ended up snagging bunks where we could in the cabins. I had to sleep with stank-butt... eerrr, I mean Lindsey. Then, I wasn't allowed to go in the canoe because of white water. I feel the need to make it clear that I am and have always been an equal opportunity water lover. White, blue, green, it's all the same to me. I just can't get enough of that crazy wet stuff. However, that wasn't my call to make - thanks a lot ma. I did get to run around a bit when the sun finally appeared.

June 12, 2002 brian sleeping

Wow. Been awhile since I've checked in here. Not much to report. Mom has started hanging around with this Brian character, which means she is spending a lot less time with me. Kinda makes me want to bite his ass. At the same time, he does keep my spot in the bed warm for me. Guess the jury's still out on that guy.

May 27, 2002

Memorial Day weekend on LI with Kate, Cliff and Brent. When they weren't at the beach, the gang was shopping. Mostly I hung with Cliff who likes to curl up and snack on leftover barbeque. Two of my favorite activities. Gidge was there too - of course - but I have the height advantage when vying for scraps. Basically I kick her fat ass.

May 13, 2002

Hal tried to bite mom's hand last night while she was cleaning the nasty-ass fish bowl he calls home. He had better watch it; his days around here could be numbered. Amen! Can I get a witness?!

May 12, 2002

That's more like it! Went out to Long Island for the weekend. A little sun, a little fun. A lot of sleep. Gidget was there, but she doesn't have a spot on mom's lawn chair, so. It was aces - check me out lounging in style.

May 6, 2002

Mom's been busy, and so I have been misbehaving. That she's up at 6 AM and out the door to start a three-plus hour commute to NJ, I care not. Work Schmerk, I say; I need me some dog run. Worst thing I did was eat this freaky carving of a hand. I think Mom liked it though, cause she was ripped! Score one for The Poot.

April 24, 2002

Snagged Hal's food again. That stuff really grows on you. Mostly though, I like the look on Hal's face as I am chowing down on those little kernels of fish stank, and he is powerless to do anything about it. This time it was color-enhancing so my morning poo was bright orange. Bonus!

April 21, 2002

Can't say that I am especially pleased with mom right now. She went hiking on Bear Mountain sans moi. Said something about leash regulations, her not being in the mood to be dragged all over, one good digger a week is enough for her (tee hee hee, mom took a huge face plant off her roller blades and has bacon on her chin), yada yada yada. I say, better watch yer carpets ma! The next time you are at work, I might not be in the mood to hold my piddle. Bottom line: all I got to do is hang with Toad - just check out how much fun she is! Ooh ooh ooh, almost forgot the hightlight of my weekend. Mom and Toad went to Nathan's for weenies (don't ask - those two are kooky times twelve) and brought me back some fries.

April 14, 2002 poot's tongue!

Whew! What a beaut of a weekend. Dog run in the morning: mom put in some time cursing and picking up glass in the run - I don't think she liked it very much when I cut my foot in there; picnic in the park in the afternoon: all the kiddies want to be my friend - I mostly like the ones who have ice cream; and a jog down along the Hudson in the evening. I am dead tired!

poot's tired!
March 23, 2002

Owwww. I cut my foot in the park. It's a real doozy, and now I'm in the doghouse. Not really, but I am not exactly allowed to do anything at the moment. No frolic in the apartment; no frolic in the park; no frolic on the sidewalk even. Last night, after mom fell asleep. I pulled the bandage right off my paw. Don't tell - she thinks it fell off all on its own. Fat chance!

March 14, 2002

Shout out to my pop. Glad you are checking in on me. I miss you though; how come we never have a play date? Mom is good to me, but she is away at work a lot. I don't get to sleep late anymore either; we're up and at it and out of the house well before you're even cracking a lid, I betcha.

March 7, 2002

Heard a rumor that since we can't take our annual ski trip to Maine (in case you are wondering why, that would be a big NO SNOW answer; it's freakin' 60 degress outside today), Mom is contemplating letting me in on the annual canoe/kayak trip. Sign me up for that boy howdy! Swimming is my middle name. Okay, okay, Poot is my middle name, but I sure can swim.

March 1, 2002 poot fetches!

Been too busy to write. Too busy at the dog run in Fort Tryon Park! Who knew? Best of all: it's open - no fence. You heard me. I could run away but I don't. Where's the fun in that? I mean, who would bake me muffins? Who would drive me to my weekend place on the Island? Who would throw the ball? Who would grab my tail and smack my ass? Really!

Feb. 18, 2002 hal

Mom's pissed. I did a bad thing, but... but... okay, I just did a bad thing. While mom was at work I ate Hal and Kipper's food. Then I ate the package it came in. Not too bad as afternoon snacks go. Every morning she gives those damn fish food. They don't even have to do anything for it! Ha! Just try getting Hal to do anything besides look at you with that stupid fish face of his. Now if I could just get my paws on that Hal...

Feb. 16, 2002

Beach this weekend. That's right, you heard me scum sucker, the beach. Bucket of KFC, iced tea, salt water in your eyes, seaweed between your toes and sand in your crotch; sound familiar now? A gal's gotta have something to do. Anyway, if this global warming thing means that I can beach it in February, I am all over it; I even went for a dip. Toad was there to vouch.

Feb. 9, 2002

Dog run, Riverside Park, I was there. Aside from that little runt from next door, I brought Cliff, his friend Jim from Texas, Brent and his friend Nevada from Florida. You didn't hear it from me, but Nevada has a tatoo on her nether regions of some firey dice that says "feelin' lucky?". Hubba hubba!. Me & the gang.

Jan. 30, 2002

Damn. Mom took off for Vegas again, and I am heading to LI for an extended visit. If she keeps this up I might have a mind to call Gambler's Anonymous - hee hee. Seriously.

Jan. 26, 2002

Went to the dog run in Riverside Park to get my hump on. Gidge came too. Picked up Brent on the way back home. Thought he was coming over to help mom work on something called a stager, but Gidge and I used him as a pillow instead. He's a little bony, but will do in a pinch. Snuggle time with Brent...

Jan. 21, 2002

Mom left at like 3 this morning. She packed a bag and said she was going to Las Vegas on "business". Nice try mom. I hate it when she leaves; if I could sit on her every minute of every day, I would. Usually when she takes off, I head out to Long Island to stay with Callie and her family. Not this time though; Cliff showed up sometime in the afternoon. At first I was skeptical about hanging out with him, but when Brent and Kate came over later, all geared up for movie night, I said to myself, 'It's on'. Best of all: got a new toy; snake, goes by the name of Pepper. When you bite his head - and frankly, when wouldn't you? - he hisses! Thanks Cliff.

Jan. 19, 2002

Ummm, snow. It snowed and I love it... even when my paws get cold. Reminds me of many a long walk - apres ski - in Maine. Ok, so I don't actually ski, but mom does, and I get to come with. Anyway, I ran all around Fort Tryon Park (shhhhhh... don't tell the ASPCA); Gidge came too. She tried to bite my face off, but I know how to handle that little runt. Best of all: I didn't have to wear my stupid faux fur jacket - thanks God. Check it:

Me in the snow  [quicktime video 984 k]   |   More me in the snow!  [quicktime video 1.2 MB]